LooneyBin

Day -23 A letter to someone. Anyone

Dear, “Someone, anyone”

I’m not mean, I won’t bite. To know me is to love me. I have my faults, I do. But I have a heart of gold mixed with the best intentions. when you expect only the worse out of me, then that’s probably what you’re going to get. I’ve only loved once, twice, give or take. When I love, I love hard. I’ll always put that person’s needs before mine and won’t speak a word of it, cause being “paid back” is not important. I am so humble, more humble than most, I don’t feel the need to boast, brag, or show off my achievements (okay perhaps maybe a little) it’s more like being proud of myself. I can be brutally honest only towards those who I deeply care about and can trust that they know I mean no harm. A sensitive soul is what i have, there were only TWO people who knew how to approach me with issues that were caused by me, without making me feel like a piece of shit. They’re both in a better place now though. Shots are fired, but it wasn’t me, I never shoot first, I hate conflict, but I don’t mind a good argument if it means peace in the end. My Intentions are never cruel unless I’m feeling attack. I give everyone a fair chance unless they approach me with disrespect. Whatever harm you do to me, I’ll probably do it back x100043902850240543. I have it bad for revenge. When I plan revenge, it’s awful. I play dirty. And I won’t care. I am currently working on that. I give people so many chances cause it’s nearly IMPOSSIBLE to hold a grudge against anyone I truly love, also there’s this thing called “HOPE” that has been apart of me for as long as I can remember, hope for things to get better, hope that someone would care, hope that  I got a fair chance at life, hope for love, hope for health, hope for success. I might be the definition of “Keep Hope Alive”. But sadly, nobody gives me chances when I am at fault, it’s held over me. Not necessarily being said, but with vibes and body language, stares, and mumbles under the breath. I don’t think anyone has REALLY, I mean REALLY took the time to figure me out. I guess that’s why I don’t bother telling people what’s on my mind. What for? They won’t understand anyway. A friend just asked what was on my mind, what was up, what was I thinking about. I searched my brain to find something to talk about, but I’m so use to people just “hearing” me and not listening that all my thoughts hid away where I couldn’t reach them. So I said to my friend, smiled “Oh nothings up, “I’m fine”. :-) ………………………………… >_>. You ever have someone ask “what’s the problem?” but you can’t answer cause they’re the problem? or maybe not necessarily a problem, but you know some kind of funk you can’t discus with THAT certain person. It’s a real pain-in-the-ass when it’s like that. Anyway, I’ve learned to cope with a lot of things so that life goes on, and I can continue to be happy, having adventures, making mistakes and learning from them.

I am who I am, and I won’t change for anyone (although I’ve attempted) cause there is for sure someone who will like my feisty-ness, the fire I bring with my out spoken, take no shit from anyone attitude. I know some men are intimidated by such characteristics lol or even try to down play me for it, but some like it. But I am not on a crazy quest to find love! No-sir-e-bob! I’ll keep my eye’s open and my mind clear for whatever, comes my way.       

Peace ☮ Love ♡ & Happiness ☺